50 years ago today, our president John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated with his wife at his side. Our country is taking the time to reflect on the man that was JFK his life, legacy and presidency. For me, I am reminded that his death left behind a widow and fatherless children. Despite their very public notoriety, they still went through the same private grief after his sudden horrific death. I have thought about JFK's death many times in my life, even though I wasn't even alive when it happened. Now, I am connected to it in a much different way. Now, it is personal.
In the picture above, Jackie Kennedy stood with her two very young children at the funeral of her husband, with all the vulnerability, raw emotion and fear I felt 17 months ago. Her children went through the same grief journey any child would as such a tender age. Just 6 and 3 yrs old, they stood as their father's casket was carried past to be placed in his forever grave in Arlington National Cemetery. Jackie had to do as many other young widows must do, find a way to cope with her pain and grief while tending to the complex needs of her children after the loss of their father. She wasn't special just because she was the First Lady. She didn't get a "pass" to grieve differently or better she just grieved. To the world she became more human and endearing. Like me, she was forced to discover and reinvent herself and her transforming her life into a "new normal". She was initiated into the club no woman ever wants to belong to - The Young Widow's Club.
A week ago, another dear friend lost her husband suddenly to cardiac arrest. He had been ill for quite some time so it was expected he would die sooner rather than later. I received her text at 1:30 am on the 14th. "Paramedics just took Steve to the hosp. Cardiac Arrest..." What she went through in the early morning hours gave her a deja vu feeling. She told me that was one of her first thoughts. You see, EXACTLY 17 months before, I had sent her the exact same text, with Ron's name instead. At that time, HER husband was in the hospital and we didn't expect him to survive, but he did. I was prepping HER for the inevitable result and it was me who found myself needing the support.
Early that morning, Joan had to do the unimaginable, render emergency aid and CPR to her husband and watch helplessly as the paramedics carried him off. She didn't know at the time she would never see her husband alive again. Her children ages 9 and twins age 4 will now be without a father. She will do what I did, Jackie Kennedy did and many women who have lost husbands - raise her family the best she can without a male figure in the house. She will reinvent herself and find her new normal. She is strong, she will make it.
As our nation reflects on the life and death of a president and the end of Camelot, I will take time to remember the tears of his widow and children. To honor and respect the obstacles they had to overcome to survive and thrive. I will bow my head and pray for all the Young Widows, who amaze and inspire others with their strength, courage and spirit as we are joined together as sisters in an extraordinary yet reluctant club.
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