Today, my youngest child will be "graduating" from her 5 point LATCH system car seat/booster to a simple booster than merely lifts her a few inches higher in the seat. She will no longer be protected by 30 lbs of molded plastic, harnesses and metal buckles. Just a seat belt and a smile as we drive down the road. This transition has created so much anxiety in me as I ache for assured safety. With all that we have been through in the past 15 months, it's no wonder! I want to envelop my precious child in a bubble wrap of protection so nothing could ever happen to her. I know that it is impossible to shield her from everything and so now it is time to "let go" a little more and trust in the Universe. You would think - "oh, this child must be 3-4 years old!" Nope, she is 7 yrs 9 months. She is 56" tall and weighs about 82 lbs - the average size of a 9 1/2 yr old. Yea, it's time.
When my older children were little, they were completely out of car seats by the time they were 2-3 years old. I buckled them into the back seat and off we would go. I never thought twice about it because that is just what we did back then. The twins were little enough, I would buckle them into the same seat belt - How times have changed! The laws now dictate children 8 yrs old and under 100 lbs require some kind of car safety restraint system. 27 years ago, the laws only stated infants had to be placed in a car seat on the way home from the hospital. I actually carried my 29 year old in my arms all the way home from the hospital! 50 miles through the desert. Life moves faster now, and people are more distracted. The new car seat laws are made to prevent tragedy and great bodily harm. Wouldn't it be nice if we could prevent ALL tragedies in life by transporting ourselves in a safety device with a special latch system?
As I travel the long and windy Widow's Road, I long for a strong safety seat to protect me from all the bumps, potholes and rocky roads ahead. My husband was that safety for me, he was the one who "had my back" and provided that layer of protection when the rest of the world became too overwhelming. Locked in the strength of his arms and his love, there was no road hazard that could affect me. With the sudden and unexpected loss of my husband, I find myself cautiously approaching new experiences, waiting for assurance all will be well once I step both feet in. My challenge is letting go of fear of the unknown and allowing myself to leap empty handed with my eyes closed and experience what life has to offer.
The journey along the road of Widowhood requires a certain amount of risk taking, willingness to allow the road ahead to unfold unexpectedly and ability to navigate hairpin turns. While playing it safe might be what one WANTS, it is not necessarily what one NEEDS to bridge to the next chapter in life. The Widow's road while difficult to navigate leads to a place of renewed hope, treasured memories and everlasting strength to tackle anything that lies ahead. As always, I look to my Village for love, support and understanding as I experiment with each new step.
Where shall the road take us today?
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